He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
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Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
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We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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