I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
zippers are such a cool invention
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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