how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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