i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
