Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
