I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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