how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
