Swine flu. Run for my life!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
