i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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