And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
