Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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