Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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