Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
