One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
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we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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