mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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