I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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