So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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