It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
