Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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