my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
