so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
