What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
