So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
