she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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