i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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