it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
