the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
