I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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