Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...

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(706): first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor... http://tfl.nu/ezfa

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(925): View more from California

They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.

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(925): They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah. http://tfl.nu/e2zc

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(214): View more from Texas

dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!

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(214): dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones! http://tfl.nu/aql1

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...

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(610): I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events... http://tfl.nu/y2xk

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.

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(606): I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified. http://tfl.nu/k6t4

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(250): View more from British Columbia

They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am

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(250): They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am http://tfl.nu/0rv3

Replies (3) Good night (3164) Bad night (1029)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me

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(440): Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me http://tfl.nu/mmr9

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(416): View more from Toronto

he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.

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(416): he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/nho3

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(630): View more from Illinois

I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.

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(630): I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar. http://tfl.nu/ha0p

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(703): View more from Virginia

I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.

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(703): I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave. http://tfl.nu/udrq

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(919): View more from North Carolina

She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.

(919): View more from North Carolina

All she wanted was a cigarette

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(919): She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop. (919): All she wanted was a cigarette http://tfl.nu/ei15

Replies (1) Good night (1621) Bad night (549)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom

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(402): Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom http://tfl.nu/4fn6

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(208): View more from Idaho

Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often

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(208): Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often http://tfl.nu/tod9

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(317): View more from Indiana

His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv

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(317): His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv http://tfl.nu/yd6c

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(716): View more from New York

It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!

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(716): It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT! http://tfl.nu/5pm7

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