i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
