i don't like sucking hair
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
