just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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