How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize