I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
