So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
