Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize