My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Couch. On fire.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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