I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
