ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
