is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we made out on top of his cat.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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