We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
