He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
