Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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