We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
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A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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