I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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