she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
