Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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