history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
