We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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