Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
