That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
