I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
