After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
