It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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