I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
