Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize